I know, I know, I know, alright!! Of course it isn't Cable's fault that I have an addiction. Of course it isn't my roommates' fault for recording dozens of shows I NEVER USED TO WATCH but now CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT. Of course it's my fault, and my fault alone that I HAD to waste an entire day on the couch catching up on every show that aired this week because OH MY GOSH MY ROOMMATES MIGHT DELETE THEM when I'm not looking and THEN what would I do??
But today...
Today, while sitting on the couch in front of the tv...
Today, because I was unwilling to get up and make actual food (or shower for that matter)...
Today, I opened, and then consumed, the unabridged contents of a bag of chips.
This was not a single-serving, snack-size, normal-people-eat-these sort of tv-watching treat. This was not the bag-you'd-find-temptingly-displayed-on-a-wire-rack-at-Subway.
I'm trying to tell you that I ate a costs-$3.49-at-the-grocery-store ($2-on-sale-if-you're-lucky), giant-sized bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. All. By. Myself.
No, I didn't eat lunch. And no, you're right, I didn't eat dinner either. And, yeah, sure it took several hours. But do you think that will help me sleep at night???
The answer is no.
In the stretchiest of stretchy parts of my imagination, I have successfully been able to pretend that slamming an entire bag of CRD's is the proper way for a single girl (such as myself) to celebrate Valentine's Day, but at the end of this frilly-pink holiday, when I look at the empty aluminum bag and smell the stale spices, my imagination fails me and it boils down to this: I need someone else to blame.
So I'm sorry, DVR, but I can't take this one. Not today. Consider this my official and very public notice that, until you hear from me again (you know, when my desperate need for current, commercial-free programming brings me crawling back to you), you are the devil and we are in a fight.
6 comments:
oh my goodness! Two posts not just in the same year, but in the same week! Incredible!
And, I think it's fine you think that DVR is the devil!
Love ya!
Holy laugh! Nothing like a grand holiday like Cupid Passover to get the munchies going.
No need to feel guilty . . . it is definitely DVR's fault!! :)
I love the excuse that I will save so much time watching TV because I can skip over the commercials, but then I end up just watching twice as much TV. Cool Ranch Doritos are the best, but of course you had to have cottage cheese with it right? Your family is the one who taught me that one and now I am hooked. I would have had a 16 oz cottage cheese and the bag of chips! Then I would have blamed it on my kids! :) We all have our vices.
I absolutely refuse to watch real time tv. Everything I watch is DVR'd. I can't tell you about the disappointment I feel when I sit down to watch something and have no control over commercial viewing.
As for cool ranch doritos, it is Kody's personal opinion that they were created by the devil. He feels poorly about any chip that is disguised as a regular dorito and doesn't taste like one. My vice is corn chips and salsa. I could eat a costco size bag of corn chips and an ice cream bucket full of salsa and never think twice about it!
Some great instructions for a sourdough starter can be found here: http://www.sourdoughhome.com/startingastarter.html
It's pretty intensive process but worth the fight! :)
I did that with cheetos. More than once.
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