I bet you thought I was dead. And in your mind I probably died in some tragically chubby-linked way...maybe from a clogged artery...or maybe it was congestive heart failure...and oh how I bet you cried...you probably sobbed into your pillow until the sobakawa husks began to mold and you developed a migraine from the dehydration...you probably cried and cried because you were going to miss me so much...and between sobs you probably made yourself a promise that you'd never let that happen to you...that you'd never put your loved ones through the pain and loss you were experiencing...and then, if you had any sense at all, you very likely sat straight up, wiped your eyes and went to eat a vegetable...and good for you! ...I wouldn't want you to cry forever...But the things is...I'm not dead. So there.
I know you're surprised...but try to imagine how I feel! After years of doing just about everything in my power to subconsciously guarantee myself a youthful (and thus moderately-dramatic) death, all I've really managed to secure is a sedentary lifestyle. Where's the fun in that??
So this is what I need to keep reminding myself: Despite what I have to assume were my best efforts, it looks like I'm going to be around for awhile. And you know what? If that's true, why wouldn't I want to make my time here a little more enjoyable? In the words of the wise, great and capitalized THEY, "Get busy living or get busy dying!!"
Maybe I'll do a little living today...
